The Anal Report

Teddy Sinclair, previously known as Natalia Kills was at the height of her career with two critically acclaimed pop records under her belt and a seat at the judging table on New Zealand version of the popular TV show the ~~shit~~ X Factor when things took a dramatic turn due to the then unconfronted racist and misogynist foundation of our society.

In March of 2015, after a very boring performance from ~~rat~~ contestant Joe Irvine, Kills decided to spice up the X Factor a little by giving Irvine somewhat of a harsh critique. “You’re a laughingstock. It’s cheesy. It’s disgusting. I personally found it absolutely artistically atrocious. I am embarrassed to be sitting here in your presence having to even dignify you with an answer to my opinion”. Putting aside the possibility of the exchange being scripted by the producers, it’s time to revisit this exchange and discuss the angry reactions it garnered from the global audience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuZ1TvBZNB8

Was it ok for Kills to be that cruel to the contestant?

We have to call out bullying in all shapes and forms but Joe Irvine was NOT bullied. Examples of bullying are being told that you’re out of shape, you’re ugly, you have no talent, your voice is bad, you’re too feminine, too masculine, too gay, and too weird; all were common occurrences on popular talent shows. Shows like American idull and X-Factor turned Simon Cowell into a celebrity merely for being “brutally honest” to contestants. But was Simon brutally honest or brutally cruel? Due to his white male privilege, Simon Cowell continues to enjoy a successful career without backlash after two decades of his antics. For years we watched LGBTQ contestants of color get mocked and ridiculed during audition rounds of this format. Exploiting vulnerable people without compensation is bullying; criticizing someone for lacking identity is NOT. Only recently we started seeing drag queens making it to these talent shows, though most of the praise they get is still somewhat backhanded “that was so weird but I liked it” or “you’re crazy but we like crazy”. It’s progress, I suppose. So why were people so angry with Natalia? Why was everyone getting involved? Her comments weren’t harsh, they were harsh for a woman to say them. Lorde sending cupcakes and celebrities coming out supporting Joe? Are you kidding me? Where was this energy against Simon Cowell? Where is this outrage when Louis Walsh groped Mel B on live TV? Isn’t that a more urgent issue? Is it possible that it’s because Natalia Kills is a brown woman in music whom the public is conditioned to hate? So many questions that I think we all know the answers to.

As we finally start to see glimpses and pockets of justice in the #MeToo era, I believe that the world owes Natalia Kills (Teddy Sinclair) an apology and her career back. It’s time for the true princess of pop turned indie psychedelic goddess to rise from the ashes. It’s time we reevaluate our internalized prejudices against women in music.

Four days ago, annoying singer Justin Beiber released a remix for Billie Eilish’s Bad Guy, and it was horrid. The vocoder effect over Justin’s thin, prepubescent vocals is so disruptive to the general mood of the song; it made me wonder why we even listen to this clown in the first place.

A few months ago, and after Marrying Hailey Baldwin, Beiber expressed interest in stepping away from music for an undisclosed amount of time. The showerphobic star appeared to have taken up Christianity, and focusing on his mental well-being. Sadly for us, he never fully stepped away. Every few weeks, we had to suffer through another one of his horrible opinions on social media; from defending abusers to just being straight up annoying. I believe his management and family owe the general public his silence.

Justin Beiber is a manchild with nothing of value to add to the culture or music. His rise to fame relied heavily on our society’s fixation on making cringey white people pretend to be black on stage. Yes, I am aware Usher is partly responsible for this, but I won’t blame him for knowing that there’s a market for clownery.

Beiber regularly relied on cultures that weren’t his to keep his career going. From his washed-down R&B vocal inflections to his recent take on Latin Pop, Bieber’s team has seamlessly interwoven the cultures of disenfranchised communities into his music. But Beiber never used his platform to speak up about issues that face those communities. I’m not suggesting that Justin is a bad guy [Insert Ross Matthew’s face after making a pun]. I’m just tired of his ass and don’t want to see him again until he’s matured as an artist and person.

The World Owes Natalia Kills an Apology

Justin Bieber Please Retire!